I think it was an act. I think the guy was a bored Ohio guy who's watched too many episodes of Jersey shore, Bar Rescue, and Ghostbuster's. I am a skeptical person as it is when it comes to people. Especially people who throw money around at Italian restaurants in south-eastern Ohio at a Maguffey Lane show no less. Just to clarify, I was not there to watch Maguffey Lane, though I did engage in some conversation with a band member in the restroom that kind of went like this:
"Goddammit, I cannot wait to get back to Columbus. This 2 hour drive BS to play to a bunch of hilljacks just east of the West Virginia border is not as fun as it used to be." The gentleman exclaimed to me. I personally don't like talking to strangers in restrooms after midnight, especially people using the urinal next to me when there are perfectly good ,empty stalls (isn't there a Man rule about that?) . Nothing good can come out of those types of situations. But I didn't want to be rude.
"Oh, I know what you mean. I drive there everyday for work."
"You're from Columbus? What the hell are you doing all the way down here? At least were getting paid to be down here."
I gave him a quick explanation of why I was down there, what I did for a living, wished him a safe journey home, and exited the restroom. I wanted to hurry back to Jersey boy, because I was curious to see what he was up to now.
Maybe a little back story. I had went to Athens last night to go see one of my best friends who is a chef at a very nice, up and coming Italian restaurant in Athen's, Ohio. The place is called Abrio's, and though I have never had any of the food there, I've heard it's great, the service is great, and the selection of beer is amazing, and they really try to put more of a focus on micro brews, which is something that I have taken a keen interest in lately. Support your local eateries and local breweries people.
Anyway, my buddy wasn't closing so he had invited me down to have a few drinks, so I did. Upon entering the establishment, I greeted my friend then sat down to have a drink. I chose an IPA that was suggested to me and stuck with that all night. I can't recall what it's name was, but it was delicious. So, I had been there for like 20 minutes or so, and then the "Jersey Native" started coming around.
"Ah there's my people! I tell you, yous guys, yous guys do it like we do it back east, you know? hahaha, that's right , you guys calamari don't taste like fish, your sauce actually tastes like it has real tomato's in it, I'm buying the whole bar a drink!!" At this point the gentleman, who we'll call Tommy because I cant remember what his real name was, pulled out a huge wad of 20's, and proceeded to buy everyone drinks and shots. I declined a shot but accepted the beer. Now, at this point most of the serving staff were getting off and hanging at the bar with my friend and I (because that's what they do there apparently, they have a very tight-knit crew it looks like) and Tommy was making the size of his bankroll known to all the ladies there. He gave both bartenders probably what equaled to a $30 tip each, then gave one of the servers $20 to guess my age in three tries ( I apparently don't look it, but she had guessed it on the last try, but I think she heard me whisper it to him and she was just playing along, whatever wasn't my money, and I sure as hell wouldn't give some chick $20 for something like that). I mean, this guy was really trying to let everyone know there he had money to burn and did not have a care in the world.
But, like I said, I think this guy was putting on an act. He was really laying on the whole East coast this, east coast that stuff. Almost everything he would say was somehow in connection to something back East. Apparently, or at least this is what he told me after getting him to calm down the money rainstorm and engaging him in some conversation, he is the largest private owner of tractor-trailer's on this side of the country. He said he owns 1100 trucks, and provides extra assistance to large shipping companies. So, being I work in that industry, I grilled him a little to see if he really knew what he was talking about. It turned out he did, but I still thought that the whole Jersey thing was an act. During our conversation it seemed like his accent turned a little, like certain words that should have been pronounced a little more ignorantly given his exclaimed status, but weren't. After our conversation, he went back to hitting on all the girls, pronouncing to one of the guys who was with us, " Ey, I tell yous what, I'll buy all the drinks you want, but I get to take all the bunnies home with me , eh?" The guy looked at me , and just started laughing kind of nervously. One of the ladies talking to my best friend heard that, and started shaking her head like wtf. Another girl mouthed the words "help me" to me and my friend.
Finally, after about a half-hour of this nonsense, Tommy decided to make his exit. But not before buying everyone drinks again. He came over to me, tapped my beer with his, and said , " You know I really like you. You seem like a stand up guy. You don't say nothing, you just stand there with your hat on drinking your drink, and just take everything in." Yep, that's me Mr. Observant, like I've been observing you all night because I'm curious to see if your not from Middletown or Cincinnati or something.
"Thank you," I said. "I'll take that as a compliment." He shook my hand, proclaimed to everyone how much of a stand up guy I was, and promptly left. As soon as he was out the door the bartender, a lady who looked closer to the latter end of her 30's, came over to Jamey and I .
"Jesus, I may have made over $200 tonight because of that guy, but I thought he would never leave."
Several of the employees there (most of whom were off their shift by now) agreed, then all the different snippets of the evening came out from the various ladies:
"He put his arm around me and called me his princess, then I felt his arm going down my back, and that's when I went to the other side of the bar."
"Did he really call us bunnies? What is this, 1963?"
"I think he was outside in his car smoking crack."
Whatever. I got like 3 beers off that guy. If it was an act, he did a great job. But I felt bad for the girls there because you could tell they were a bit uncomfortable around him. So, is that what happens when you got a little change and you got nothing else to buy in life? You spend it all at some bar, hoping to pick up some college chicks? Thankfully, most of those girls there I believe are a little smarter than that.
Again, whatever. I got free drinks last night.
..oh, and here's a video of a Jersey guy. If the one I met last night had done this then, maybe I would have been more inclined to believe that he was in fact from New Jersey.
I know a couple of Jersy guys livin' around here now. Never seen either of 'em with money to burn, but the attitude sounds the same...
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